Anxiety Introduction // MostlyMilly

In the past I'd have usually held off writing a post like this in fear of getting hate or backlash or being branded an " attention seeker". Initially I didn't want to draw attention or to mention my anxiety at all on my blog as I didn't want it to be about it at all.  A lot of my life is filled with anxiety and this blog was going to be the one place where it was left out. However, over the last week I've encountered the worst spell of anxiety I've ever gone through in my life and was unable to post anything. I wanted to bring my illness to light for my readers so they know that if I have been absent or haven't posted for a few days or a week, it's due to my anxiety and I haven't forgotten about you!

Before I begin I would just like to address that this post is for people who might be interested in finding out more about anxiety as a mental illness, who suffer from anxiety or are just curious. If you think anxiety is a made up, over dramatized excuse for avoiding situations or something that people conjure up for sympathy and "there there" comments you should look away now as you will probably  not understand this post and I would hate to start arguments or for anyone to get upset by your opinions.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I would rather this post be positive and helpful rather than hateful :)

( Quick disclaimer : I'm NOT a medical doctor or professional. All the facts and opinions I use are from my experience with my anxiety , my many trips to the doctor and hundreds of therapy sessions)

All that aside, I would like to tell you a little about my anxiety journey and my mental illness. I don't know why I'm crying when I write the words ''mental illness'' as it's not a new revelation to me as I've dealt with it my whole life. I suppose the words ''mental illness'' carry so much stigma that it's sometimes easier to avoid them. When I think of the words ''mental illness'' things like 'crazy' 'ill' 'strange' 'mental patient' come to my mind. I imagine a Bertha Mason character ( Jane Eyre reference ) locked in a dark room and hidden away from society, rocking in a corner. One person ( if you're reading this don't worry I forgive you)  once told me that because I wasn't 'rocking in a dark corner' I couldn't possibly have anxiety. From someone who has had anxiety for the majority of my life I can definitely confirm this is not true.
There are many 'levels' shall I say of anxiety. Someone with anxiety may occasionally feel panicky or overwhelmed. They may get panicked when having to talk infront of crowds, to be in a busy place or on public transport.
My anxiety has been around since I was literally a toddler. Obviously at that time I didn't know what a panic attack was but one of my first ever memories are of losing my mum in a shopping centre and having a panic attack. For me, it's not something that's just appeared in my teens, I was born with it like someone could have been born with eczema . Recently, I went to see one of my favourite men in the world Stephen Fry talk in Sheffield. He has publicly battled with depression, another mental illness, and is very open and frank about it. He explained, in his extremely charming way, that having a mental illness is no different to having asthma and that telling someone to simply stop having it is frankly ridiculous.
I hope my grandma won't mind me mentioning her life long anxiety ( infact I highly doubt she will seen as though she's been on tv about it. ) We regularly talk about it and she understands it completely dealing with it for 60 years. We think the anxiety runs in the family as my great great Grandfather never left our town , my Grandma has anxiety, my Uncle has anxiety and I have it too. I think it's safe to say in this case its hereditary. I hope this may prove to some of you that this really is an illness. Not something we can simply choose not to have.
I have been through a few schools in my short 16 years but in the end it just didn't work out for me. I've been homeschooled for a while and at the moment I do my studying independently with Oxford homeschooling. Trust me, I've been to hell and back when it comes to school and panic attacks. I used to rip up my tights on the way to school so I couldn't go ( you have to laugh) and beg my family to let me stay at home. Anyway, enough of that, I genuinely don't like to go into all that because my family are much more understanding and I am incredibly lucky to have such supportive people around me. However, many people aren't so lucky. They are misunderstood, alone and scared and to me, this is unacceptable.

This post could become an essay if I'm not careful so I suppose I'll write a more extensive post if anyone wants one? Basically all I wanted this post to be an introduction and something to reassure anyone feeling alone, scared or unsure about mental health that it will be okay. Trust me you're not alone and if you need some help here's a few link to check out :

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_children_young_people

http://www.teenage-anxiety.co.uk/

http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/anxiety.html


If you think you might be suffering from anxiety:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anxiety/pages/introduction.aspx


I'm sure you've all heard of the wonderful woman Zoe Sugg ( youtubes Zoella)
She almost makes me tear up with gratitude with the way she publicizes anxiety and is helping to tear down the wall of stigma surrounding mental illness. If you've not already seen her videos on anxiety check them out here :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjuk3WMZByo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4


She also wrote a blog post here :

http://www.zoella.co.uk/2011/12/panic-attacks.html


Like I said above, this post was more of a introduction to anxiety, I could literally write pages and pages if I could but I don't want to bore anyone to death. If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks leave me a comment below and I promise you I will reply.You are NOT alone and I promise you it will get better. Also, if you have any tips or advice for anyone dealing with anxiety or panic attacks please share! It would be great to have a community of us helping and advising each other through this bloody terrible illness and together, we can fight the stigma.



Ps. To learn more about a movement called the 'don't panic button' skip to 1:52 in one of Zoe's vlogs here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRW9XBiGPdw

Get out some red buttons, pin them on your coat, make a bracelet, make a hair clip ANYTHING and show your support.

Here's mine :) 

Love to you all, thank you for your kindness and if you have anxiety or simply support those of us who do, I love you, I'm incredibly grateful and you're truly wonderful people :)

Follow me on bloglovin here : https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12850783